(Finding God in Your Cancer Journey Chapter 3 TRUTH excerpt)

One way to see how minimizing can play a role in your cancer walk is to look at the ways  people share or do not share about their cancer with those they love.

People diagnosed with cancer…
• Might protect the people they love from the difficulty of their cancer treatment.
• Might not share the severity of their discomfort, fatigue or pain.
• Might not tell of their fears for their future or the future for those they love.
• Might feel that “No one wants to hear about my cancer.”
Caregivers and loved ones…
• Might protect the person with the diagnosis by not sharing stressful topics affecting the
caregiver and others.
• Might not share about struggles with finances, maintaining the household, their own fatigue or even the caregiver’s health.
• Might feel that “No one wants to hear about the cancer.”
Sharing on your Cancer Journey
What about you? Find Changes in Your Sharing Score
▶ Place an X to indicate how much you shared at each phase of your cancer
journey.
How much did you share about the difficulties in your life with those you
love…
Before the diagnosis:
Very Little / Some Things /Almost Everything
1_______2_______3_______4_______5_______
Beginning of Treatment:
Very Little / Some Things /Almost Everything
1_______2_______3_______4_______5_______
Now:
Very Little / Some Things /Almost Everything
1_______2_______3_______4_______5_______
▶ Do you see changes in your Sharing Scores? How?
Share your response if you would like.

The problem is that the people you are protecting are the ones you’ve shared your struggles with throughout your life. Raising kids, financial difficulties, grief, loss- it’s our
loved ones that we turn to through these. Now cancer has come, and as both a patient and a caregiver, we protect our loved ones from the strain it is having on us.  “They have enough on their plates. They don’t need to worry about me.” Does this sound like minimizing?
It may help to think of minimizing from the flip side.
▶ Imagine someone you love going through a very hard time, but to you they minimized the problem. “Not a big deal.”  Much later you find out how difficult the struggle really was. If you’d known how large the struggle was, do you think the Lord could have used you to lessen that person’s load, even if primarily through companionship and prayer?
Yes/No Why or why not?

Share your response if you would like.

Too often dark lies creep into our thinking: “It’s hard being alone so much, but it’s silly to have someone come just to visit with me.”  “There’s nothing they can do to stop the cancer,
so it’s better for everyone if I don’t say how hard this has been.”
▶ Half of these sentences above are true and half are lies. Circle the truths.
There is a loneliness and isolation that can stifle a patient, survivor and caregiver on a cancer walk. The truth? God designed us to live in community. That’s where the joy of the
Lord is easiest to touch. By sharing the truth of your struggle, you can receive the gentle
companionship God desires for you.
 “By sharing the truth of my struggle, I can receive the
gentle companionship God desires for me.”