Sometime in the chaotic years of middle school my son Garrett announced that no one was to eat some specific left over in the fridge because he had called “dibs”. Now although I had a vague notion what “dibs” meant, I knew he surely had not learned about “dibs” in our house. You see my husband had an unspoken rule which went something like this; my house, my fridge, my food. Needless to say my son has met with limited success in finding various treasured food items still in the fridge when left unattended… especially if my husband was on the premises.
You see in the Tripp household this reasonable request of Garrett’s to have his coveted food item untouched was not realistic- that’s just not the way we operate. Although Garrett plays the “dibs” card less often, he can’t seem to relinquish his desire for domain over some small portion of the fridge.
I wish Jesus was open to me calling “dibs” on certain areas of my life. No all of them, just a couple. I hunger for Jesus to lead me so my mouth is under control, so my ministry is Christ pleasing or my marriage is vibrant but my kids? My money? Those are areas I desperately want to have control over – after all, if I let Jesus have domain over those things He might not handle them like I want. Besides, I already gave Jesus so much, why this too?
My whining to Jesus might sound like “You want my kids or my finances too! I already gave up dirty jokes and office gossip. Do you want this stuff too?” Actually Jesus is pretty clear- “My sacrifice, your life, your salvation.” He didn’t purchase parts of me on the cross. He purchased all of me.
Yet to turn over to Him a coveted area of my life, I’d like guarantees: “I’ll give you domain over my kids if you promise me they won’t get hurt.” “I’ll give more money if you promise I’ll have enough.” That’s not the way being a follower of Christ works.
This the way Psalm 139:23-24 says it works: Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. The idea is that daily, hourly, consistently you place your feelings, thoughts and actions before the Lord and then He does what? He leads you. Trust me, this goes a lot easier when you quit trying to lead yourself. I think that’s why the verse tells us to ASK for the searching, testing etc. before we get to the leading. Are you asking for Jesus to show you the way for everything BUT … what? Do you pray for protection but not guidance? What are holding back?
Live your life with no dibs, just the relief of letting Jesus lead and not you. Just thinking about it makes me finally- exhale.